The park
was a beautiful sight as dusk gave rise to families rumbling around, their
children free of the oppression of tired parents who refused to impose any
will, after a long and taxing day of work. These unwieldy beings mockingly move
about, yet we cannot help but become lost in their arbitrarily intoxicating
dance. Lost together in this unforgettable place, our lips touch, so hard, so
painfully, we could feel slowly distancing ourselves from the rest of these
people. Depths uncovered as we both slowly reveal ourselves, all we can do is
open up to each other in this moment, this undying spot where trust hardly
comes easy, yet feels so true. And as we walk the winding walkways that connect
these gardens we come close to the fountain, the center piece of this tension
that we call a date. A couple of errant children play around the sides,
playfully splashing each other. It’s about 7:00 so the light and water show is
still a few hours away; later the children will wow and scream and jump and
drive everyone crazy with their youthful energies, but we will be someplace
else. This large fountain is barely noticing the children who play, its ominous
roundness set asunder by some 8 jets violently protruding through the stale
waters. These are the showmen of violence and glee, shooting water high up into
the cold and musty air, invading the night skies with no such thing as remorse,
yet longingly reaching for the stars, I can now understand. We sit there and
look into each the others eyes, I slowly lean in to renew our kiss, you take
the initiative as usual and strike me accurately and we embrace just by this
single point. Holding onto each other, no words need be exchanged. And yet it
will be sometime before I admit what was born that moment.
Walking,
holding hands awkwardly as a recent discovery, we make our way together and
perch above the still waters, hanging on each other. Shy and playful,
we play together in an effort to avoid anything from growing, yet we fail.
Words come out my mouth but they mean nothing, everything that matters is you
hearing them. We sort issues of grave mostly indifferent importance, yet we
cannot avoid the hanging truth that they truly matter to the other. As I grab
your hand a trio of children gaily walks by, their little chubby arms holding
onto their father or mother, we care little. We resume our awkward stumble, an
unwilling come and go of holding hands and getting closer. So close, our eyes
hunt each other, fierce and I stop you. We zealously kiss and violence and pain
and dare I say love, and all of this crosses my mind, yet I am defenseless to
it all.
We are now
standing high above the ground, looking below at passing vehicles, people walk
by running silly about their own petty little lives. We don’t care, because I
cannot stop looking into your eyes. And all I see is sorrow. I knew the moment
I met you time was running out. We have been together for only a week, yet I
have discovered veritable truths hidden from others, only to be shared by us.
As we continue to talk about, I close in to whisper something I only hope you
carefully listen…
As I sit
here, time has slowly lost its meaning. My bed grows colder, the sheets expand
the distance, this gulf that has formed between us. I can't look back; I dread
the sight . And yet I turn. You're gone; I’ve known this for
a while. I fight new tears coming to
brim my sight, free of restraint I weep. I cannot comprehend what has become of
us; how the seas that separate us and the endless land between us could only
come oh so close to break an us. I carelessly walk in this shelter of pain and reach for the door, clumsily try to pry it open
this barrier that impedes my seeking you. And it is in that moment that I can
finally realize it is not you who is gone, but it’s me whose end I’ve come
about...
