thoughts about some interesting articles on the subject of rape

Giving Birth to a Rapist's Child

When reading this paper the first thing that comes to my mind is how easily and how complexly our minds work. Our brains limit how we perceive the world in a way to make it easier for us, but this also makes us prone to prejudice. The truth is it is extremely difficult to establish a single measure or standard with which the issue of rape and un-intended pregnancies as a result of those rapes can be dealt with. And by dealt with I mean giving the victims of such act the necessary protection, because in the latter case there is more than one victim. What the paper proposes is the fair and most reasonable solution, that is to offer protection by law of not only the women who suffer rape, but also of the children that can be born as a result of an act that is no their or their mother’s responsibility. They are both victims and the system should protect them as such.

The Myth of the Teenage Temptress

One of the most jarring thing I have dealt with coming to the USA from my country was being confronted by the harsh reality of the country’s rape culture. While I cannot deny that rape is also prevalent in many other countries, here the liberty afforded to people and just the sheer numbers can be overwhelming. One thing that is especially disturbing about rape culture is the idea that a person can be “looking for it” or “totally in control”. When phrases like these are used, it is upsettingly clear that victims are being turned into accomplices, in a sick twist of values. But getting to the blog entry itself, I can honestly say I am shocked that a judge would accept a deviant’s reply that a teenager was in control of a situation that she was by no means capable of. The author’s candor was refreshing and really shed a light on one of the biggest problems of rape culture, in light of this recent case. A victim is not responsible for her attacker’s behavior; it is as if I would start using a mask in public because someone told me that they did not like my face and wanted to punch me. While it is not the best example, the basic idea is clear, I should not be asked to do something because other people are unable to control themselves.

Prevent another Steubenville

While I stated previously that we are not responsible for other people’s actions, the third required reading touched upon a point which makes me contradict myself. A person is formed by the environment to which he or she is exposed during their formative years. This would be a truly proactive way to respond to rape culture, and way to ensure that while it is extremely difficult to enact immediate change, change over time can be more easily accomplished even though the results will not be readily apparent. It could fall on a trope that it is the mother’s responsibility to educate their sons, because fathers must also take in this mentality. The mentality of manhood being much more than the macho culture being taught by mass media. I completely agree with the notion that education starts at home, but it is also true that education must also be given in other places where kids gather like schools.

MIA to GYE

I am an old man. Not physically mind you, even though I do not have the best conditioning. I am talking about my spirit, I feel like my soul is old and it is very tired. I have always felt personal interactions waste it away. Relationships are even worse for my soul.  It is as if I chopped off a tiny little piece of that soul and handed it over to really someone who does not know what to do with it. Of course, I am also guilty of that too. That is why it is also difficult for me to accept those pieces. Maybe that is why rather than feeling as an outsider; I actively cut myself off from others.

Summers in Miami were a suffocating experience, with temperatures over 90 degrees and 100% humidity. I was visiting some relatives there, back in august 1993. I had lost my job the year before, and my savings were slowly dwindling away. I had manage to get along by moving around and staying with family or close acquaintances, but it was time to go back. We drove down Collins Avenue back to the airport from Bal Harbour with our windows down. Tony’s car was an old Cadillac El Dorado with fading burgundy paint job and no air conditioning system. The cream colored leather seats once might have been nice, but they were not anymore. “Fortunate Son” was playing on the radio but my head was far away. Tony kept talking something about his girlfriend but I don’t really remember what he said. He lowered the volume and looked at me intently. He was a bit younger than me, though not too far from thirty. When we met in college he had a big jet black afro that was barely a memory now. He still kept in shape though, we’d often hang out in the gym; he jogged and I ran. He kept looking at me not saying a word, but I knew he wanted to ask about my father.

The fight with my father had been a huge drain on the family. Everyone had decided not to choose sides, and just hope for a quick end to it. But my mother knew it was not going to be that easy. My father and I shared few things, but the one thing we had in common was we were both extremely stubborn and what some called independent. Now that I think about it I would call myself actively isolationist. While I was pretty short, languid, and introverted, in contrast my father was a large man, he still had the weightlifters physique he had acquired as a thirty year old, and he was loud. He had been a construction worker to pay his way through college, and he always carried himself like a man who knew the world was against him. It was two months before I had to move out of the house, after having grown sick of the environment of living with a person who actively ignored me. That was the strongest weapon of my father psychological arsenal; his silence was an enveloping wall that drowned even the most resilient of men. With his loudness quieted, I found it much easier to leave the country for a while than to keep up the charade. What had our fight been about? Honestly it was nothing important if I think about it, I guess at the time we just hated that we could not understand each other.

Before I realized it we had crossed over onto Lejune and were dropping off the car at the rental office.  We walked out to the heat and towards the airport; Tony kept talking about a woman though I was still not interested in what he said. The airport was packed on that August afternoon. And surpassing neither of us, the humidity was even more unbearable inside. It always amazed my how a city could have such a reputation for a party town, while having one of the least welcoming airports in the world. A wet box seemed a more comfortable place to stick 1,000 people. The international terminal was full of sweaty and irritated people. Large groups of people can easily mix up in the eyes of some, especially when said group has many “different” looking people. Tony and I walked through the mass with our tickets and a couple of backpacks in hand. The Saeta ticket and check in line was at the end of a long and narrow hall, and had at least 60 people already waiting and complaining. We just looked at everything and I decided I did not want to talk for a while.

 Passing through security was not a big issue back then, and so we headed for our gate to settle in for a short wait. Tony’s aunt was already there holding a couple of seats for us and waving us enthusiastically over. She was a short woman, much shorter than I expected a person being related to Tony to be. She was wearing a hat, if it could be called that after all she had put on it. Tony pulled me aside for a second before we reached her to tell me not to mention anything about the hat. “She just had chemo, the doctors removed a tumor from just above her ear 6 months ago and she is still emotional about it”, he said looking straight into my eyes. I knew he mentioned it because I always made and still make fun of things like that hat, and maybe because he wanted me to be somewhat sympathetic to her. But that hat! It just defied anything I could say now. So I tried to drown her pleasantries by looking over the area and all the strangers that moved about it. A group of three men caught my eye. They were Ecuadorian and from Quito, I could easily tell from their accents. They were drinking heavily and making no effort to hide the bottle of Johnny Walker red; the drinking made them increasingly annoy me and I guess the others in the small waiting area. Sonia, Tony’s aunt, seemed to be the most annoyed by the men; she tried to distract herself by talking about she had been up to while recovering. Tony asked her point blank why was she angry, and all she replied was, “the bastard cheated on my daughter, everyone knows back home, he made her look like a fool”. The boarding announcement started as she finished; so Sonia stood up as Tony helped her with her bags, and I picked up my backpack to board the bus that would take us to the plane.

After we boarded the plane, I sat on my chair between Sonia and Tony. Since he was such a tall guy I had agreed to take the middle seat and leave the window to his aunt. I did this in spite of having no desire to continue talking to either during the flight, but it was always easy for me to tune out people and pretend to be in conversation with them. We had the fifth row on the left side of the plane, an old six seat one aisle Airbus. Ours was the first row of seats after business class, and as it was usual back then we knew almost everyone on the flight. My ex-girlfriend’s father was sitting in business class two rows ahead of us, and next to him was another one of Tony’s relatives. This one was a doctor and his uncle. And the drunks sat on the row opposite them, still loud and obnoxious. After the plane took off the stewardesses made a terrible mistake by continuing to give the drunks empty glasses with ice to keep on drinking their Johnny Red. Yeah, back then it was very easy to smuggle liquor bottles onto airplanes. About midway to our destination, the son in law stood up and walked over to our row. He started talking with Sonia, asking about his wife, and insisting it was all a mistake. I am always amazed when people get married; I find it so hard to understand. Why even get together if you are eventually going to cheat or divorce. But Sonia refused to talk to him, so he looked at me and angrily said, “Get the fuck out, I need to talk to her.” I said no and he started to curse at me. Tony just sat there not saying a word. When it looked like he could be ready to fight me right there, the stewardess intervened and asked him to sit down. He walked back to his seat and glanced back at me while he sat down. I kept noticing his angry glances as he spoke to his fellow drunks. I started to worry, because I knew Tony would be no help if a fight started. Contrary to what his size might convey, he was a wimp and had never been in a fight. I had had to save his ass once or twice back in college. The son in law was making awkward gestures and one of his friends, a bigger man and apparently even drunker if possible, started to stare at me. He would probably be the one to make the first move. The stewardesses had started and finished the diner run, and before they asked for my tray I picked up a fork. This was a small metal fork used for desserts. So I started to clean it with a white cloth napkin and when the stewardess asked the opposite row for their trays, I stuffed it between my legs and under my crotch. I just kept looking quietly in the drunks’ direction.

He stood from his chair slowly, without making eye contact with me and walked towards the back of the plane. As he passed Tony, he tried to jump over him to hit me. I forced my seat back and his fist struck Sonia’s right temple. As this happened, I had swiftly grabbed the fork from under my crotch and stabbed the side of his neck. Sonia and the drunk screamed almost at the same time. I pulled my hand back and the fork fell to the side of my seat. He tried to jump back but was stopped by this huge man. This man grabbed him like a duffle bag and threw him to the ground. I thought it was Tony at first, but he was simply sitting next to me looking pale and confused. Then I realized someone else was crying over Sonia, it was the little girl sitting behind me. The huge man was her father. The stewardesses were going crazy and the doctor quickly stood up to check on Sonia. Everyone looked at me for one second, and the man sitting in front of us asked me, “is the lady ok? Why is he bleeding?”  All I could answer was: “I must have scratched him with my watch when I went back”. The huge man called out the head stewardess screaming, “Get the captain out here now!” She nodded and walked to the front of the plane, I followed her trying to get myself out of the mess.

She banged the captain’s door to no answer; he was hiding and wouldn’t come out. The other two drunks had been calmed down by the whole situation and were being looked over by two men, maybe a little older than me. I looked at the head stewardess and she seemed to get her shit together, because she soon started ordering people down and asking for the three men intervening for help in keeping the sobering drunks in check until we landed.  The next hour or so of the flight was all gossip, as people still wondered what exactly had happened and why was the drunk bleeding so bad from a simple scratch. The doctor asked me to move so he could sit next to Sonia and I walked to the back of the plane to find a seat. It was better if I was alone for a while and Tony understood because he did not follow me. I found an empty row, sat down and waited to land.

The plane landed but nobody inside knew what to expect. No one was allowed to disembark as the police made their way to the gate and boarded the plane. The captain issued a brief announcement thanking us for our cooperation and saying sorry for the inconvenience. The police quickly made their way to the drunks and arrested them. There was a sudden rejoicing and some stray “serves them right” could be heard all over the plane. The drunks looked at me with anger, but the police did not even glance my way. After we were allowed to leave, Tony’s uncle walked up to me and handed me a fork. He did not say anything, but his worried look was enough. As soon as we got into the terminal I walked quickly to the bathroom to dump the fork just as fast before passing through migration authorities. While the police officer checked my passport, I could see the detainment area; inside all three men seemed to be arguing at once with the policemen. I could easily see the red dot on the white bandages around one man’s neck. The officer just said welcome and let me go on my way.

Gina picked me up in her red Fiat. She had parked near the garage exit, so we had to walk a few blocks. It gave us a chance to talk, so I told her the story. She seemed sort of amused, her dark brown eyes twinkling. She combed her brown hair back and all she said was: “bro, you’re always getting into some fucked up shit”.

Comparing college in the Ecuador and the US

Ecuador and the United States have very different superior education system, colleges and universities are very different in each country but there are a few similarities. As someone who has been a part of both systems it has been easy to see how disparate they can seem to people. The differences start with the application process, the cost of higher education, the registration process, the class curriculum, and in student involvement. But there are similarities, both systems share many of the same steps and some aspects in each those step. Each system is ultimately set up to reflect each countries’ needs and serve the students in different ways.

For starters, the application process in each country is radically different. In Ecuador, most universities have special admissions exams. When I first applied for college in Guayaquil, I did not have to take any tests, I simply went to the register’s office and signed up. This change to the process came after many years where universities had an open system. This policy was set by the government starting in 2013 by the Ministry of Higher Education. Now the exam is taken by a national agency called Senecyt, it is open to any senior high school studentand it is required to attend any state sponsored university. People interested in attending private institutions must take the exams these institutions administer over seen by the ministry of education. In the United States, students must first take standardized tests like the SAT or ACT and then apply individually to most universities though some state universities have unified application system. These applications sometimes need to include essays and recommendation letters from teachers as additional material. As an international transfer student, I only had to take a TOEFL to apply and also include a complete transcript of my academic history including grades and class syllabus. Since each university has its own academic acceptance standards, students are encouraged to apply to more than one school to make sure they are accepted at least into one of them. The social and economic realities of each country play an important part in these differences; while the United States has a large population and greater competition between academic institutions, Ecuador has a limited number of institutions that require a filter for admittance. So each country has tailored the process to fill their needs.

After applying and being accepted into a program, a prospective student will also encounter differences in paying for an education. Ecuador offers free university education in most state run institutions for any citizen who has passed the required entry exams; students do have to pay for some things like transportation or certain class utensils. Those who wish to study in private institutions have to pay for their own tuition, but most of these institutions offer financial aid to students who need it. A form of financial aid is differential tuition this means that students are charged in accordance to their economic capabilities. When I studied I was fortunate enough to count with my parents support to help me pay for tuition. Though for the last few years the state has begun to offer state sponsored loans and scholarships for students to pursue their education in foreign universities. This is what helped me make the decision to pursue an education here at WSU. The United States offers state financial aid for students to pay for their education in public or private institutions. Federal government offers financial aid by issuing grants or loans to students depending on several factors. This helps students have more freedom to choose where to attend college and what to study. These differences can be seen as a reflection of national values, whereas the USA encourages freedom to choose an institution and have a college education, Ecuador sits content with merely providing the option for that education but limiting the student’s choices.  

After figuring out how to finance your education you must register for classes and each country has its own system for creating a student curriculum. Undergraduates in Ecuador must first choose a career which the wish to receive a degree in even before taking a single class. This makes it very hard for some students like me who do not know exactly what future career we want. We do not have the possibility of taking credits to find out what major we like. Once the student has made his or her choice, the registration process is very straight forward. The universities have a set curriculum for each degree they offer, though some give the student the latitude to take two or three optional classes, but the choices are limited. In the United States, students are not expected to choose a major during their freshman year, and instead of a set curriculum, they have the freedom to choose the subjects the wish to study, sticking to a set of rules each university has in place and also aided by an academic advisor. This practically allows students to create their own major.  However they do have similarities, like both systems require students to learn at least one foreign language, certain liberal sciences classes, and some form of physical education or a sport. Both system are different, so they each work better for different kinds of students. Personally I have found it much more rewarding to be given the choice to explore your interests through your education by taking different classes.

After sorting out class schedules and registering for classes, students are ready to inmerse themselves in college life which can vary a lot from country to country. For example in Ecuador, the university centers student life on political participation and sports events. Political participation includes student government at school and general university level. Most universities in Ecuador have no university athletic teams, but instead have many intramural soccer or basketball tournaments for students. Since most people commute from smaller cities to big cities and live far away from campus it is just harder to be a more active part of campus community. Also students take most of their classes with fellows from the same program or people working towards the same degree as them, which makes them closer to those who will be their classmates for the duration of their college years. I lived somewhat far from campus, about a thirty minute drive, so I was not the most involved person. Especially because I hated university politics and was not very good at sports, my campus life involved drinking beer or whiskey between classes with my friends. On the other hand, colleges in the United States offer a wider range of school related or student involvement activities. With people living on campus it becomes necessary to offer them options to get involved. Some examples of these are: student clubs, Greek societies, and collegiate athletics. Student clubs are wide ranging from community service organizations, to religious groups, and even hobby sharing clubs. Most of these organizations are student run with minimal university participation, just input and imposing of certain guidelines to maintain a group’s status. Greek societies are called fraternities for men, and sororities for women. These groups are connected to large national societies in a loose way, but they offer a more close type of relationship for fellows who belong to them. Students sometimes even live with their fraternity or sorority brothers or sister near campus in special houses. Here at WSU I have been involved in many ways I would not have been back home. I have become a member of a community service group and regularly attend school functions. Living on campus has made it easier for me to do this. And then there is college athletics which can be divided in two distinctive areas: intercollegiate and intramural. The second just like in Ecuador, has students from the same university compete in small events in a variety of sports in a more amateur and relaxed environment. Intercollegiate athletics is a huge part of many campus’ lives, not only because it brings students together to root for their schoolmates playing sports against other colleges, but because it is a big source of revenue for some colleges. While most sports are played at intercollegiate level, there are three that produce the most revenue for colleges: American football, basketball, and baseball. This is due to each of these three having a major professional league in the United States. So while in Ecuador universities focus more on academics and do not offer many possibilities for students to have an active campus life; in the United States universities understand that having many students on or close to campus requires offering them opportunities to participate in different activities while also using it in some cases as a form of creating additional revenue.

After comparing the differences and few though existing similarities of both systems due to the nature of the needs of each country, I can conclude that they both have their advantages and disadvantages. Ultimately it is up to each person’s preferences to choose which educational system better serves their needs. While in the United States the system is much more competitive in the long run, the Ecuadorian system favors the country’s limited availability of higher learning academic institutions. For many students the strict academic curriculum of Ecuadorian universities would be a reprieve from having to build your own, on the other hand the United States system offers much more liberty for students to pursue different interests and still receive a degree. And the student life of most United States colleges is much more engrossing if you wish to participate in it. For me it has been a learning experience to study and live in both countries, and while I do not believe one is strictly better than the other, it has been much easier for me to adapt to life here in Wichita.