late night

I want what I cannot have, what I should not get, what is not best for anyone. I just count the days down until I am back on my track and on my way to fulfill my long delayed goals. But I want her and she will not shun me. Do I keep pushing until there is nothing to push? I want to walk up and speak my mind but I know those words can cause more pain to others than whatever good they may bring to me. I do not know what to do honestly. I fear that my chance has gone by and all I have are these muses. I should be happy then for being given the gift to carry on that track but I am not sure.