Life is lonely sometimes, especially when your mind wanders so often. You think about winning and how your ardently push towards it, until you realize you have lost with a meaningless trophy in hand.

GOT Musings

Whoa. Just, whoa. This episode was just amazing comparable only to a slow simmering symphony. Anyone, and I have to count myself here, who thought Cersei was done for had made a really bad call. Her use of the little birds to enact her vengeance had strong Michael Corleone at his godson’s baptism undertones. It was a masterstroke on her part, especially how she moved all the pieces to spring at just the right time. I could see Moe Green’s hubris in the Grand Maester and Lancel and how each walked into such an obvious trap. One could also muse she played the Nero minus the harp though her glass of wine was an apt substitute. Although Margery tried her best, she was still way behind the queen herself in scheming. She did see it coming but not quite soon enough. It is a pity we lost such an interesting character but it does give lady Oleana some great incentive to be a powerful force after losing her family to the Lannisters. And our old Sparrow was such a powerful force this season which made it much more impactful how badly did he play the Game, he was never really in Cersei’s league.

Cersei’s confession was a moment of catharsis for the character, it seems Joffrey did not fall far from the tree of depraved minds. Watching her deliver her tormentor to Ser Gregore might not seem as harsh as Sansa making pooch sashimi out of Ramsay, but the enjoyment both felt was similar. The death of Tommen was not unexpected and I feel Cersei must have seen it coming because her muted reaction stood in contrast to the loss of her other two children, maybe she saw him as weak compared to the other Lannisters she wished him buried with but it still feels she has finally lost it. Sadly, this is one of the effects the Game has on some of the participants and I would not wish to see it also befall Dany. Cersei has become numb to it all and life has lost any meaning.  Seeing her crowned I almost expected her to pull a Napoleon and put the crown on her head by herself. It was strange to see Jamie with a mix of love and fear at the sight of his sister and lover.

Walder’s musing on the true nature of the game was an unexpected joy though Jamie’s response was as acerbic as we want him to be while maintaining the development he has gone through. The scary part is there are many directions in which his character can go and most are not really happy endings. In the same vein, Dany and Tyrion’s talk about entering the game and how fear is something that lets you keep your wits about, was also a moment when as a viewer you can understand the stakes that these characters are betting on to win and that a loss can be devastating. She echoes the numbness Cersei displayed and we can feel a bit of dread as this is what a mind set on a single goal has to give up, to become a ruler or to just win this Game.

It was nice to see Sam again as it lightened up the mood, especially seeing his joy when allowed access to the library. He is one of the ‘weird’ characters as he is a man of knowledge where even other maesters are more concerned with war and power. But it is shocking to see the reaction of the maester to Gilly and little Sam considering the direction the series is taking with the leadership of this world. In other north news, the Onion knight is cemented in the episode as a true man of conviction willing to request his vengeance and not allowing himself to break his principles. He has already lost a son and without Shireen as a sort of vessel of hope it is understandable why he throws himself in support of Jon. I am sure we have not seen the last of the red priestess and she definitely has a lot to atone for.

Sansa and Jon’s conversation was also refreshing amid all the death and chaos. After all the betrayals and changes in alliances we as viewers can see that Sansa has learned a lot and that the torture Ramsay inflicted on her has made her smarter. Jon understands why she did what she had to do which is why he wants her to take the mantle of Lord of the North, she has the name and now the personality to hold the title while he showed viewers and himself how unready he was for the mantle. It was also good to see her wanting to trust him even if that trust is building slowly. Later when Little finger lay his game at Sansa it was almost laughable, he threw all his lines and ammo but Sansa stayed faithful to the Stark legacy. She knew Jon would back her which made what happened later tougher to swallow. The gathering of the houses of the north was of course bittersweet for Sansa, as seeing all the men rally behind her brother who almost lost the battle for Winterfel and ignore her as the true born Stark was a huge affront and shows that as much as women are becoming the focus of the show, some people need to get on the train. I am in awe of Lady Mormont every time she is on screen as she would have basically ended the show 3 seasons and a half ago and in a single season if she had 3 dragons. Her speech was decisive, fearless, emotional without being corny, and it does suck that she did not back Sansa for Queen of the North. It could be read in her face how big a blow this all was after her earlier talks with Jon and Lord Baelish who could barely hide his glee at the development.

In Dorne, we see Lady Oleana chatting with Illaria plotting to take their revenge on Cersei with the aid of Varys. This is important because it has finally cemented the change in power, this is a game with new players in the women who are just as bloodthirsty as the men but seemingly twice as cunning. There have been clues as to the direction the show was going, especially with the constant mention of the Mother and her mercy. She was the most named god of the seven and clued by the conversation between Dany and Yara about how the fathers had their chance and left the world worse off. When they talked about the future they meant the daughters and women by extension. When Dany speaks to Daario later this is also echoed in her words, “A great number of women I imagine”, as it rings true to this change in power. As her character arc hit a crescendo las episode it is marvelous to observe these changes; she is no longer the scared little girl who trembled behind her brother and who feared her husband. Daario represents those men who do not see the change that has happened like the lords of the north for instance. He still sees Dany as just a woman and that she needs a man when nothing could be further from the truth, which is that she will find a man to control and cement her power. He would only be a distraction for Dany so he is expendable though she still trusts him enough to hold her seat while she crosses the sea. Even love is something that must be set aside in the game as Dany understands and with a hint of regret tells Tyrion. The dwarf has had something of an epiphany and it was a high point to see him made into the Queen’s Hand without any strings attached.  

Some deaths that were a bit more jarring if one could even go as far and say enjoyable. Arya going down her list and serving some Frey pie was fan service at its best. Though it does make me fear for what she will become when she is done. Even if women gain the power and rule, it will not be without consequence. Going through the Stark roster, Benjen was a character which I expect to see have a bigger role in helping the war effort against the White Walkers. I feel he was greatly underused this last season so hopefully he becomes bigger in seven. But the biggest news even with all the political going on of the north was Bran’s latest vision which can only be describe as OMG. The internet spoke and it was true, Jon is a Targaryan. This of course throws a monkey wrench in to the game, as the north rallied behind Jon as a Stark, what will the effect of his Targaryan heritage be?

The game is set up quite nicely for next season. Cersei has effectively taken control of House Lannister and the Iron Throne, in the North Jon has been named king and prepares to take on the White Walkers, Dany carries the Targaryan banner across the sea ignoring she is not the only one left of her kin, Lady Oleana and Illaria Sand conspire in the south to take out Cersei and put an end to the Lannisters, and I don’t think anyone of us can wait to see where this all leads. I would love to see Arya be the one to take out Cersei and the Mountain, but I think she will only be given one prize as Cersei will probably fall to Lady Oleana and Illaria who have bigger scores to settle with the new Mad Queen. I see Jon eventually sharing power with Sansa if she does not fall to Littlefinger’s whispers, this of course could change if Dany decides to go the old dragon route of keeping it within the family thus uniting the north to the kingdom and leaving the road open for a Queen or Mistress of the North. There are a few threads left unsewn like the Baratheon bastard, the Hound, Brienne and Pod, and the Brotherhood. It will be very interesting how all these come to an end especially because at least Brienne, Pod, and the Brotherhood are all definitely heading north. My one shocking prediction would be that the Kingslayer goes for a sequel and takes out Cersei before offing himself, I would not count this out as one of the possible ‘sad’ endings for the character. I would also LOVE to see Brienne take on the Mountain though there is a very iffy mess there with the Hound and Arya also in the mix. Hope to hear from you in the comments section and please share any theories you might have on where the show could go.

whatnots

I imagine robots will have a difficult time interacting with humans which will of course lead to judgement day. Humans can be so extremely difficult to understand especially what motivates them or what is the cause for their actions. The things some do can mix with those things they don't do making it incredibly hard to decipher what if anything they mean. Or maybe its all just nonsense and things are very plainly written.

late night

I want what I cannot have, what I should not get, what is not best for anyone. I just count the days down until I am back on my track and on my way to fulfill my long delayed goals. But I want her and she will not shun me. Do I keep pushing until there is nothing to push? I want to walk up and speak my mind but I know those words can cause more pain to others than whatever good they may bring to me. I do not know what to do honestly. I fear that my chance has gone by and all I have are these muses. I should be happy then for being given the gift to carry on that track but I am not sure.

regret

I write this because of the certainty of you never reading it, but I do wish you would. Maybe I should have said no to you. Maybe I should have told you I did not accept that you and I could not continue together. That morning as I walked to see you I knew it was over, and I wanted to fight but I did not. I knew what I wanted but I let it go. That is but one small regret in the ocean that is, but it is still a pretty big one for me.

silence

why do people think using silence as a weapon is fair? but it is just cowardice, it is a move of a coward who fails to value things that are true and worth. letting oneself be steered by the past, it is just a recipe for pain.

Playing with the Boys, Women Professional Video gamers

Of the many advances technology has offered people, some of the most important where in the area of entertainment. Thirty years ago my father played a videogame called Asteroid; it was an 8 color monstrosity where abstract geometrical squares attempted to resemble recognizable shapes. Today I can play games like Call of Duty: Ghosts where the line between what the game renders and reality is slowly blurring. With the advances in technology, videogame players also got one important thing, accessibility. Buying videogame consoles is no longer extremely expensive, and the proliferation of PC games also makes it easy for anyone to have access to games. With people playing more video games than in ever came the next step, online gaming. By the year 2000, what had started as small tournaments with arcade machines became international leagues with hundred thousand or even million dollar prizes. Traditionally dominated by men, many women have slowly found their way to the top of this profession. But one particular case interested me, the case of Sasha Hostyn. Scarlett, her online persona, is an accomplished gamer who has won many different World of Warcraft and Starcraft 2 tournaments. But the Canadian teen is also openly transgendered. Disregarding any question about choice in the matter, what this essay aims to do is offer an insight into the difficulties not only women encounter in a male dominated landscape, but also Sasha’s own journey to the top of the pro charts.

According to Owen Good of Kotaku, the history of professional video gamers started with the game Spacewar at Stanford University on the 19th of October, 1972. That day students competed for the grand prize of a one year subscription to Rolling Stone magazine. The availability of the internet by the 1990’s gave the game Netrek the chance to be the first online PC game to offer users the chance to play with up to 15 other players. The 2000´s brought some of the biggest tournaments including the World Cyber Games, Intel Extreme Masters, and Major League Gaming. There have been some important clans or groups of video gamers exclusively open to women. One of the groups is team PMS, which is open to any woman regardless of her video game playing chops. An interesting aspect encountered during research was that some women admitted to being acquainted to video games by their husbands or boyfriends, and that the creation of the group was a response to the male aggression they encountered as they honed their skills. They have strict rules regarding sexuality, their aim being not to denigrate the image of women gamers, but to offer the chance to be a part of a community. This social aspect of gaming is not only important to women, as many men find it much easier to socialize in this virtual world.

Now an important sector of video game players comes not from North America, but from Asia. Specifically South Korea, this country has dominated the professional gamer leagues for years. It was also the first country to have a 24 hour a day channel dedicated exclusively to video games. Most male American gamers have been unable to unseat the Asian contingent, so it is incrediblely interesting that the latest and most notorious challenger to Asian dominance is a teenage girl from Canada. She also happens to be openly transgendered. The idea Sasha being the “foreign hope” of online gaming carries a dual connotation for some observers, who unduly put a strong emphasis on her gender. But getting to this point for her was not an easy road, she had to face many difficulties, including cries from other female gamers after Sasha won the Ironlady tournaments in 2011 and 2012. Many forums started to refer to her in derogatory terms, questioning the validity of her titles and of her person. The sad part of this controversy is that no only men questioned her, but she also found that some women were strongly against her. The wars of words generated by people’s insensitivity sparked outrage. In her words after the controversy arose, “It is true I am [male-to-female] transgender, and I kinda expected this reaction. I have never tried to bring attention to myself for anything other than my play, so I don't feel like this should be a big deal,” Scarlett wrote. “Most of the girls I know knew about this already and don’t judge or care. In terms of actual play, there is (as far as I know) no advantage to being born male or female. But even if there was, being transgender means you are born with the brain of the opposite gender; so I would not have that advantage or disadvantage. All I ask is for people to be respectful and refer to me as ‘she.’” With her statement Scarlett, that is her video game screen name, shows one of the most important things to consider when facing the new reality of gender politics. One example that shows the difficulty of people dealing with these new politics is reflected in the following quote, “I accept her choice,” writes Wowcookiez. “I think it’s great as well as the way she plays. You know what, to hell with it. I’ll let the fanboys find out when they hug her/him.” While the chatter has enough sensitivity, the closing statement still reeks of lack of acceptance.  While the debate about nature versus choice has no place in this essay, it does necessarily have to refer to the reality that acceptance starts by heeding this young lady’s words. And while Scarlett faces not only the difficulties women have to face, but also the reality that her gender nature is not readily accepted, that has not stopped her from accruing over $35,000 dollars in winnings in the year 2013.

While the situation of women on the other side of the track, particularly in video game development, continues to be difficult because the video game industry still being considered a male driven business, about only 40% of American women admit to playing video games. Many women who work in the industry speak of the difficulty of working in what is essentially a “boy’s locker room”. The statistics are clear, only about 11% of game designers and just 3% of programmers are women, and most make on average about $10,000 a year less than male counterparts. Video game characters continue to over sexualize and objectify women showing the regard most males in the industry show for the gender. One encouraging note about the industry can be found in the rallying of women for game jobs, with websites dedicated to encouraging women into the profession and also offering help by creating networks of support from important female figures in the industry.  

So in conclusion, one important aspect this essay attempts to impress upon readers is that while there will always be a discussion about transgender people, if it is about nature or nurture or just choice, people must come to accept the ever changing politics of gender. As women fought for and continue to fight for equality, transgendered also fight for not only tolerance but understanding and acceptance. While it is well known that Sasha is transgender in the video game world, it has not made her any less of a victim of personal attacks to her gender. But it has also shown a different side, with many people accepting and strongly supporting her through her professional gamer exploits and her life decisions. And it should be said decision, because it disregards the idea of nature versus nurture, it just recognizes freedom to pursue what is best for that person.

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